So I’m driving somewhere last week and I hear a “conservative talk show host” tell his listeners that he sleeps with his beagle every night.
Okaaay . . . .
So then he says, “Every night she pees in the bed and all over my sheets.” And then he says the bed gets “soaked.” So he washes all the sheets on his bed every morning and every day because he loves the dog so much.
Huh?
So I start thinking, What’s the deal? And he blows my mind when he tells me how he fixes the situation.
He puts the dog in diapers.
Look, I like dogs as much as the next guy – if not more. I grew up with dogs. But seriously. Where is the sense in holding on to an old dog that can’t control where it takes a leak? And how is that practice morally justified?
Don’t forget, in some places — here in the U.S. — little kids are homeless. Ohio ranks 20th in the nation in child homelessness. More than 20,650 of Ohio’s children experience homelessness each year according to the data collected by the McKinney-Vento Educational Programs. The money spent on doggie diapers for dying dogs could be used to help them.
Now that I think about it, I guess it’s pretty cool that these kids can at least get diapers for their dogs when they need them. Being homeless is horrible, but having a dog that pees everywhere when you’re on the street is unthinkable.
One of the host’s fans who thanked him for “hanging in there” had this to say: “Too many people have had their dogs put down because it was too inconvenient for them. [The dog] is a lucky little lady.”
Uh . . . . “Lady”? . . . . How about, “bitch”? (It’s a dog, remember).
Besides,
what sort of “lady” lays with her man and regularly spills her pee everywhere while they both sleep in it? And for that matter, what sort of man lays in his lady’s pee every day and then spends his time, water, electricity, soap, and money to wash the bedding? Are you kidding me?
If my “lady” wasn’t sick and peed the bed, she’d only be able to get away with that once. And it would have to be for a good reason, like we won so much lottery money she lost all control. Something like that. But if it was just because she couldn’t hold it, or didn’t want to take protective measures, I’d have to end it. To be my “lady,” you’re gonna have to care enough about me to not pee on me. I’m sorry. But I really think that’s a non-negotiable bottom line for me.
People who put diapers on dying dogs (not the ones who are temporarily injured or recuperating from a setback) represent what’s wrong with our society today. Fearing the pain of loss so much, they would rather wrap a dog’s butt in a diaper, instead of saying good bye to their family friend and restoring dignity and reason to their family. They also rest on the mistaken belief that putting the diaper on the dog is “good for the dog.”
Did you know, in the wild it is fairly common for the pack to kill off an elderly or sick dog? Why? Because it’s better for the pack! It prevents illness and disease from spreading – the kind of things a person gets from sleeping in dog pee.
So, just like those people who make dogs wear clothes for fun, or have them sit at the table with them (for real), dog owners who prolong the life of their old, dying dog by wrapping its back side in diapers should be prosecuted under the applicable animal abuse laws of the state in which the owner lives.
And if that sounds too harsh, think about it this way. Any time an animal is exploited solely for our own joy, we ignore their natural value and beauty. Any time we indulge ourselves to avoid pain, we practice unhealthy coping. And every time we treat a dog like a person or convince ourselves that they are people, we redefine the natural dynamic of life’s four legged creatures to suit our needs, not theirs. We expose them and us to injury, misunderstanding, and problems. In the end, doesn’t a dog deserve the right to be a dog?
Look, be honest about it. Putting a dying old dog in diapers isn’t about helping the dog. It’s all about the owner. The dog could care less. Just ask the guy who wrote “5 Reasons Why Dogs Eat Poop.”